Prologue

She saw him.

After all these years she hadn't seen him, she thought he was gone. Gone somewhere far away. She even imagined him being dead, a hundred times until it was all she could only believe.

But apparently, he's not. He was there, in the alleyway, standing under the snow on a cold bright night, not minding the freezing weather.

"No." she thought.
"This is just a dream."

She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened it again, hoping he was just an apparition, a figment of her imagination. But he didn't disappear. He was still standing there. As if waiting for someone.

She felt terror rushing through her veins. All memories she had tried to suppress came flowing out her mind. She felt numb. She couldn't move. The cold weather became even colder and the bright evening suddenly went dark. She can't breathe. Suddenly she wanted to take off all her clothes just to breathe in some air. She was suffocating. It felt as though the world became a small box and only the two of them were inside. It was suffocating. The sight of him was suffocating. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted release. She wanted to ease the tension, the panic and the terror.

She reached inside her winter coat pocket. She felt that familiar cold object inside, gripped it.

She saw him walk towards her. She felt another surge of panic. She needed to get away from that place. Away from the sight of him. She ran away. Entered a diner and went straight the bathroom.

She was breathing hard. She sat on the toilet bowl. Suddenly she felt like she needed to puke. But she took out the object from her pocket instead. Felt the sharp blade on her thumb. She then took off her coat, rolled up her sleeve and started cutting her arms.

She felt that familiar pain on her flesh. She closed her eyes. She could still see him in her mind.
Cut.
She could see him standing.
Cut. More pain.
She could see him looking at her.
Cut deeper. He's smiling at her.
Cut. Cut. Cut. He started walking towards her.

She felt the terror growing. Her hand gripped the razor tighter, slicing her flesh deeper and deeper. Her breathing, harsh. Her heart pounding on her chest. She felt the tears running down her cheeks.She bit her lip. She could almost taste her own blood from her lips, mixed in with her salty tears.

He's coming closer.. and closer.
Cuts faster and faster.
She couldn't feel the pain from her cuts anymore .

He reached out his hands to her, as if to grab her. She closed her eyes tighter.

"no.. please no!" she thought.
"go away!" she screamed.

Then she was drawn back to reality by a sudden knock on the bathroom stall.

"miss? Are you okay?" a voice called out.
"y-yeah." she called back in a small voice.

She felt a pang of pain from her arms. She ain't numb anymore. She saw her arms still bleeding from the cuts. She cried harder. But is now calmer. She felt as if she had just been awakened from a nightmare.

"no," she said.
"this is still a nightmare. i am not yet awake.."

The terror of knowing he's back in town is still there. In the deep recesses of her heart.