PAUTANGGGG!

Ang hirap naman umutang pota. Hahaha
Ang hirap lumapit, magteks, magchat, at sabihing "pautang naman" grabe. Huhu
Yung kelangang kelangan mo na pero you just cant find the words or the kapal ng mukha para humiram.

Hays.
Ang hirap maging mahirap T.T

6.47

Ang pathetic ng buhay namin
Sobrang hirap
Gusto kong pagsisihang nagresign ako sa trabaho. Hindi sana ganito magiging kahirap ang araw araw.
Daig pa ang isang kahig isang tuka hahaha pota

Bente uno

Dalawang taon at sampung buwan
Tatlumpo't apat na buwan
Isang daan at apat na pu't walong linggo
Isang libo, tatlumpo't limang araw.


Mahal kita sa loob ng isang libo at tatlumpo't limang araw o maaaring higit pa.

Sana'y hindi matapos bagkus ay madagdagan pa.

Dahil sa loob ng isang libo at tatlumpo't limang araw lamang ako naging tunay na masaya.

Salamat.

Ongoing

Ang dali lang magmahal ano?
Konting landi, konting lambing, konting kwentuhan hanggang mag-umaga, konting date, konting flowers at chocolates or sampaguita at choc-nut, konting hi, hello, kumusta, good morning, kumain ka na ba?, good night, i love you mwah mwah tsup tsup.

Madali lang. Pakitaan ka lang ng kaunting effort, maiinlab ka na. Banatan ka lang ng gasgas na pick-up line, kinikilig ka na. Gawan ka lang ng maliit na lab letter, gusto nang kumawala ng puso mo sa kulungan nito. Yakapin ka lang, halikan ka lang, pakiramdam mo ikaw na ang pinaka-special na tao sa buong mundo.

Pero ano ba ang mahirap?
Aminin man natin o hindi, nahirap yung pagtanggap sa kung anong klaseng tao ang mahal mo. Habang nadadagdagan ang mga araw na "kayo," mas nakikilala mo kung ano siya bilang tao. Yung siya na hindi mo nakita nung mga panahong nililigawan ka niya, kasi nga, kailangan ng pogi points di ba?

Medyo mahirap tanggapin kung gaano kabaho ang utot niya, na minsang halikan ka niya, medyo amoy bawang ang hininga niya. Medyo mahirap tanggapin na twice a week lang pala siya maligo o kaya naman mainitin pala ang kaniyang ulo.

Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, nakikita natin na bukod sa mga bagay na pinagkakasunduan, marami rin pala kayong pagkakaiba. At madalas, mga ganitong bagay ang nagiging sanhi ng mga away.
Yun ang mas mahirap.

Pero mahal mo siya. Kaya nakakaya mong tanggapin kung sino siya. Sa paglipas ng bawat panahon, magagawa mo ring tanggapin ng buo na hindi lang pala siya pogi points. May ugly points din pala. Nagagawa mo ring intindihin na may mga bagay talagang hindi nadadaan sa matinong usapan. Na minsan imbes na naghahalikan, nandyan kayo't nagsisigawan.
Mahirap. Pero kaya. Kasi mahal mo siya.

Madaling gumawa ng mga bagay na ikasisiya niyong dalawa. You dont go through life just living life. You make memories. Beautiful, incomparable memories. Madaling gumawa nito. Masaya kayo. Mga oras at araw na babalik-balikan mo. And every time you remember, you smile. Because you knew that nothing will ever beat those moments.

Tulad nalang nung pagkatuwaan niyong maghalikan sa buong tunnel ng baguio habang nakasakay sa bus (malamang), tulad nung napag usapan niyong maglakad mula Mabilao hanggang bayan ng San Fabian, and your first date? Priceless. Dun mo unang naramdaman na every moment is the right time para sa mga taong umiibig. And every memory is precious. Memories you wanna keep reminding each other every time na alam mong pinanghihinaan ka na ng loob.

Ang mahirap? Bitawan ang mga ala-alang ito. Minsan dumarating yung oras na kailangan nating pakawalan ang mga taong nagiging bahagi ng buhay natin. Kasi minsan, ang pag ibig kahit gaano kalalim, nawawala rin. Mahirap bitawan ang isang-daan at isang ala-ala. Hindi mo basta-basta pwedeng idelete nalang bigla. Mahirap tanggapin na kahit masaya ang bawat sandaling tinatahak niyo patungo sa hinaharap, nagiging mapait ito pag mag isa mo nalang naglakakad pabalik sa nakaraan.

Madali lang kumapit kapag alam mong hindi ka niya iiwan. Mahirap bumitaw kapag ikaw nalang ang nakahawak sa kamay niya. Mabigat, pipilitin mong iangat siya para muli kang masamahan, pero habang inaangat mo siya, mas lalong dumudulas ang pagkakahawak mo sa kaniya. Until you no longer could hold on. Your bone breaks, your fingers snap.
Mahirap makita siyang nahuhulog pababa, pero mas mahirap kapag alam mong may iba na palang sasalo sa kaniya sa ibaba.


Alam nating lahat na hindi pangmatagalan ang kilig, ang spark, the butterflies in your stomach. Those things last. While your relationship gets better each day, nagiging mas kumportable kayo sa isat isa. Yung mga katagang "mahal kita" na kabadong-kabado mong sinasambit, pagdating ng araw nagiging routine na lamang yun.

Anong ginagawa mo? I love you.
Tumatae. I love you too.

Nagiging parte na ang salitang yun sa bawat usapan niyo, mapaseryoso man o kalokohan lang.
At habang mas tumatagal pa, mas madali nalang sayong ipagsa-walang bahala ang mga bagay na hindi mo magawang matanggap nung una. Madali nalang sayo halikan siya kahit katatapos niyang kumain ng shawarma, masasanay ka na rin sa iba-ibang amoy ng utot niya. Nagagawa na rin niyang yakapin ka kahit dalawang beses sa isang linggo ka lang maligo. Nagkakaroon ng familiarity. Nagkakaroon ng mas matibay na pundasyon ang inyong samahan, pero mahirap pag minsan, yung mga bagay na nararamdaman mo nung una, gusto mong maramdaman ulit.
Mahirap kapag

Friday 13th

Hindi ko kaya.
Di ko alam kung paano ako magcocope.
Sobrang lungkot.

What did I ever do to deserve this? :(

Bgh

Been a year since I first went to a psychiatrist for a consultation. I dun want anybody from my family na samahan ako because that felt uncomfy. But going alone was (and still is) a scary thing.

BGH had so many patients waiting. Some were passive (almost lethargic), others are a bit aggressive. There were also some people who were getting too hysterical. Sobrang nakaka-anxious.

The thing is, it makes a difference when you go with someone who you could be comfortable with. Yung kahit hindi mo sabihin na agitated ka na, he (or she) will automatically take his headphones off and put it on you with the intent of calming you down. Or kahit ano basta maging okay ka lang. It makes it easier to brave the things you're too scared to face.

So, be with that person.
Andaming pasakalye, gusto ko lang namang sabihing I miss that person. It was one of the scariest things to do para saken, and medyo "nakakahiya" because of the stigma, but with you, I was able to make it.

Thanks.

12.21

Ang sakit sa puso. Haha.
Hindi ko alam kung anong mas malala, yung magkagusto siya sa iba personally o yung magkagusto lang sa isip at pakiramdam.

Basta.
Masakit pa rin.

Finally, um-okay ka rin blogger huhu

FUCKS ABOUT ME #2536383929

Namimiss ko si Rei. I once had this habit na kapag I am feeling depressed or "dark" I'd change my name to Misery. There are lots of people who knew me by that name or whenever I feel like being cute, I'd change it to Mai Sio (dunno how this name struck me as cute lol)

That habit kinda stopped. I didnt even notice, I was already using one particular name and havent changed since.

Rei was a lot of things. She's been the dark, the cute, and probably the real me. Due to my fear of getting my account locked up (like what happened to my family account), I decided to use my real name.

Lian on the other hand, was just a name. Or maybe she was the "past." Something I'd rather not dwell on to. And it sucks na yung mga bagay na gusto mong kalimutan, yun pa yung mananatili sayo until you draw your last breath.

There was a time, though when I felt proud and happy being Lian. Met a lot of good and special people, made a lot of memories, it was one of those real happy times. And I was thankful for it.

But there came a point when I felt like I no longer know her. I was so used getting called Rei or Missy, I was so used feeling everything as Rei.. It seemed more awfully familiar being called Rei more than anything. Heck, it even almost felt like it was my real name.

It's weird, though. Na may mga ganitong bagay ang mga tao just to express their emotions. Magkakaiba man ng paraan, gaano man kababaw, people would always look for a way to survive. This was probably one of mine. I'm not sure. But it could be.

How to Deal with Stress: Informative Speech

Have you ever felt tired for no particular reason? Haven't you been getting enough sleep? Do you look older than your actual age whenever you look in the mirror? Do you have bags under your eyes? Haven't you been working properly? Do you feel like you are always too stressed?

As we go through life, we will encounter a lot of things. Like they say, "there will always be ups and downs." The ups, we all know how to deal with it. The sky is blue, the weather is nice, your crush smiled at you, you even get to talk to her without stuttering or feeling nervous, your mom cooked you your favorite food, a job promotion, in short, we always know how to deal with all the happiness that we experience. But as the rain pours down, when things get a little out of hand and didnt go the way we planned it, we start feeling down, unhappy, stressed. Yes, stressed.

Stress is one of the things that never ceases to stop. There are a lot of things that we call a "stressor." A stressor according to wikipedia is an external stimulus or event that causes stress to an organism. And there are a lot of them found anywhere, in school, at home, in a workplace, even inside your body, everywhere. It could be a person you dislike, a match you didnt win, an everyday traffic or pollution, assignments, work, your lovelife, lack of sleep, too much alcohol, all those things could trigger a stress.

But now that you know that anything can bring about stress, the most common question we would like an answer to is "How do we deal with stress?" Because, as much as we don't want to, stress has already been a part of our everyday lives, and that alone could ruin the way we function as a normal human being. And worse, it could also ruin our relationships with other people AND OUR health if it wasnt dealt with properly.

I've researched online and I found out that there are lots of ways on how can we deal with stress. But I will only tackle the most important and the simplest things.

According to an online source, we can divide dealing with stress into 3 ways: First is LIFESTYLE CHANGE, second is through MENTAL ACTIVITIES, and the third, STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF.

Changing your lifestyle is an effective way in dealing with stress. Some of our stress was caused by stress hormones so we need to free ourselves from it. How? Here are the ways.
1. EXERCISE. Targeted exercise according to my source can increase the level of ENDORPHINES which is very responsible for our feeling of HAPPINESS. You may also try doing physical activities that you love like jogging, running, hiking, or even dancing. Exercise not only releases stress but can also improve your health.
2. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Have you ever had those days when you wake up on what they call the "wrong side of the bed?" You open your eyes and you're already in a bad mood, isnt that stressful? And afterwards everything just happens the wrong way. That's cause you didn't get enough sleep. And if you dont have regular sleeping habits, the stress levels rise making you active and alert the whole night. Adults need at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night while children need 9-10 hours.
3. EAT PROPERLY. And by properly, I mean healthily. Decrease your caffeine intake because it is known to increase stress levels, so is alcohol. Switch into water therapy because a dehydrated body creates CORTISOL, a stress hormone. Eat a healthy breakfast and snacks during the day. And for a stress-free diet, consume more complex carbohydrates diet, food rich in Vitamin A, magnesium, and those that contain antioxidants.
4. LEARN TO RELAX. Relaxing your body can manage stress. Listen to calm music, get a massage, take a good bath, anything that is relaxing is a good stress reliever.

Stress isn't only caused by lifestyle or physical changes or events. Your mind can also create stress and so we need to treat it via mental activities.
First is to AVOID NEGATIVE THINKING. Say for example, you have a big exam coming. An entrance exam for a school you wish to be in. You prepared for it, studied hard for it but your mind just wont let you think positively. You think "what if the questions were too hard for me to answer? What if everything I studied werent actually part of the test? What if I get there late? WHAT IF I DONT PASS?" By those questions, you were already thinking negatively. And as you think that way, you lose focus. You get nervous. You get stressed. What you should do is to stop those negative thoughts. If something bad happens, dont dwell on it. Think of the positive things as well. Always say something good or nice to yourself as soon as you wake up every morning. Just be positive.

Next is ORGANIZING YOUR LIFE. Set goals you need to achieve everyday but know your limits. Don't set a goal that would be above your capabilities. Be realistic. Write a "to do list." Do the most difficult tasks first while you are still fresh and energized. By organizing everything, you'd take control of your time and priorities thus decreasing the level of stress that you may encounter.

Another is IDENTIFYING THE THINGS THAT PUT YOU UNDER STRESS. By doing this, you can calmly prepare yourself from the upcoming stress. You can find ways to avoid it or deal with it, you may rehearse, picture in your mind how you are going to overcome such situations.

You should also STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE THINGS THAT CANNOT CHANGE. According to my source, "This especially comes with things such as politics, and often applies to other individuals. Learning to accept things as they are is an important coping mechanism, but not as easy as it sounds." Admitting to yourself that there's nothing you can do about a particular issue will go a long way in helping you adjust.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKING YOUR LIFE WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE. Decide for your own. Acting on the decisions of others is already stressful enough. Learn to say "NO" if you are not comfortable about something. Do not beat yourself with your failures. Understand that sometimes we lose some. Resist the urge to be perfect because perfectionism can cause huge amounts of stress. LOVE YOURSELF. Loving yourself will ease the anxious question "AM I GOOD ENOUGH?" and replace it with "I KNOW I AM GOOD ENOUGH."

DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR. Laugh a lot. See the humor in life's situations. See the humor in stress. Learn to laugh at yourself instead of lashing your self-esteem. You know how they say "LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE?" You bet it is!
And of course, never forget to LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES. Talking to them, telling them about the things that stresses you will help you relieve it. Keeping things with yourself, bottling everything up will cause more. Your friends and loved ones will be there to help you go through a stressful situation, so ask them for help. Surrounding yourself with positive people will help you avoid stress.

That's just about dealing stress with mental activities. Always remember that a sound mind is a sound body.

The last one is STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF. This is most likely the same with mental activities but with more conviction regarding what you feel. As what it suggests, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. If you are not feeling okay and some people bother you, tell them how you feel. Let them know the state you are in. That alone can help you avoid being in a more stressful situation. And lastly, get something that will help you relieve your stress, like a stress ball or a fidget spinner. Get a punching bag if you could, or go somewhere you can yell as loud as you can. That way, you will be able to express your stress and then allow your body to relax after.

So if you ever find yourself in a stressful situation, or if stress has been preventing you to function normally, just take note of everything I have said. Nothing is better than living your life free of stress. You'd do your work better, you'd have better relationships with everyone, you'd be able to excel in school, and most of all, you'd look radiant and younger than your actual age. Who wouldnt want that, right?